Raw Strength
by nhtsen
Summary: WARNING: This fic is a retelling of a major SPOILER from Star Wars: The Last Jedi! Luke Skywalker makes the hardest decision of his life. He will come to regret it forever. (One-shot, sticks to canon while expanding on characters' thoughts.)


Imagine you are Luke Skywalker. Hero of the Rebel Alliance, destroyer of the first Death Star, and redeemer of your father, Anakin. You are a legend.

After the fall of the Galactic Empire, you decide to build the Jedi Order anew and train a brand-new generation of Jedi Knights. Many across the galaxy believe in your vision. Dozens of boys and girls, men and women, are put in your care. Not only that, but your sister and brother-in-law have trusted you to train their adult son, Ben Solo, in the ways of this ancient religion that only you seem to understand.

You soon realize that Ben is one of the most powerful Force users you have ever seen, perhaps in history. You see in him not just potential, but another lost soul to redeem – a boy neglected by parents too busy to care for him, who had never even been told the truth about his lineage.

But no matter – he can be trained. They can all be trained. If Darth Vader could be redeemed after decades of twisted corruption by the Sith, then Ben Solo should be easy.

And it is, at least at first.

But you start to worry about Ben. He seems distant in training, cold, withdrawn. One night, The Force seems to draw you to the Jedi Knights' sleeping quarters. Ben is fast asleep, seemingly at peace. But you sense that something is terribly wrong. You can feel him shaking, suppressing something. What is going on? You cannot let your prize, your hallmark of success, be tainted so.

You must understand.

Breathe. Reach out.

What do you see?

Screams, torture, and pain, a hundred million voices crying out in agony, but they will not, cannot cease. A child begs for its mother, a woman is torn apart, a man is thrown into the cold void of space, choking for air that does not exist. _MAKE IT STOP!_

And then they stop. At least for you.

You never expected this. What is it Leia said when she asked you to train her son? "We need your help, Luke. Please. There's too much of Vader in him." What wasn't she telling you? Why didn't you ask her what she meant? No, you were thinking: _Too much of Vader? I've already bested the real Vader. Bring it on._

Fear floods your mind as you consider your options. Ben has been corrupted by … someone. Some _thing_. Has there been another awakening? Has the Dark Side risen to meet its counterpart at last?

Think! When you redeemed Darth Vader, he truly believed that Anakin Skywalker was dead, beyond saving. But Ben? Ben has no self to hate. There is only you, and Ben's parents, and his voices. And whoever is sending them.

 _You have failed_ , you think to yourself. _You have failed the Jedi, your sister, and your best friend._

 _It is time to end this._

The lightsaber you built so many years ago on Tatooine flies into your hand, almost by instinct. The kyber crystal ignites, the plasma flickering to life. You tried, and you failed.

 _Goodbye, Ben Solo. I am sorry. It will be quick._

 _It would be cruel!_

And the desire to end the boy's life passes as quickly as it arrives, like a speck of dust on the wind. How could you have even considered it? You were about to murder your nephew, your own flesh and blood, as he lay sleeping and helpless! You freeze in horror, disgusted by the action you had considered inevitable not even a minute ago.

You can't move. The ignited lightsaber is still in your hand, the blade's sickly green glow playing across the boy's face.

Ben Solo stirs. For the first time in a week, he has been able to stop the voices from overwhelming him, tucking them away in the back of his mind. They stay with him, feed him lies, but Ben knows they are not to be trusted. Ben knows that He put them there. And He will not get the better of this Jedi-in-training.

As Ben slowly wakes up, he hears a faint humming. Odd. He is still not fully processing his surroundings. As far as he knows, he is safe.

He turns around, and realizes he is in hell.

It is Skywalker. He towers over Ben's skinny frame, his lightsaber poised, ready to strike. Ben cannot clearly see Luke's face, but he knows enough. The voices were right, and He was right! Ben's master has come to kill him at last.

 _What have you done?_

You see Ben reach out with The Force, his lightsaber snapping to his right hand, just as you taught him. Its blue blade flickers to life, and he lunges at you. The two beams crackle and spit, throwing sparks onto the walls. Finally, you can move again, but this clash is just a stalling tactic, buying you time as you try to find the right words to calm Ben down, to make him understand.

"NOOOOOO!"

Too late. Ben's piercing yell rattles through your brain as he stretches out with his left hand. For one wild moment, you think that perhaps he is trying to stop this madness. But then you hear the splinter of wood as Ben sends the roof of the sleeping quarters tumbling down. You feel the pain of crushing rubble and the clenched fist of the boy you could not save. And then you feel nothing.

You have created your worst enemy. Because of you, the galaxy will be thrown into the very chaos you worked so hard to stop. You are a failure.

This is the raw strength you saw six years ago. It didn't scare you enough then. How about now?


End file.
